Born in Asheville, North Carolina to the future Dr. Parsons and his young wife, Beth, Ryan came into the world of the Southern American–not kicking or screaming, but politely. As if he had asked his mother’s permission. Out of her three births, Ryan’s was the easiest; and despite being the first, it was the least memorable–due the way he slipped seamlessly into the world and transformed the couple into a family. Everything had changed, but it had been changed quietly.
When asked about his formative years, Ryan’s first instinct is to say he remembers little to nothing. Sure there are moments he’ll never forget… His first spanking. His second spanking. His first kiss. And the exact events leading up to his sister’s broken nose–which he remembers with freakish accuracy. It is these moments that show Ryan is really lying about his lack of childhood memory. The instinct to lie has nothing to do with Ryan’s lack of stories, but more to cover his lack of cultural literacy.
Childhood adventures are the stories that frame our adulthood. And growing up in a one room cabin in a North Carolina tobacco field did not stunt Ryan’s creativity, but not knowing the difference between Raphael and Michelangelo did hurt Ryan in school cliques. He remembers every time he forgot who carried the bo staff, and the ridicule that followed.
After years of life in a tobacco field, the Parsons family emerged into high society in Knoxville. And they tried to eradicate their hick history. Until Ryan realized his unique television-less life in North Carolina would quickly rocket him to the top of the social ladder at the swanky Farragut High School. His ascent stopped with the soccer players. And happily stayed there, with the best friends an outsider could ask for.
Everything in his life led Ryan to Colorado. For reasons Ryan never asked. He attended CU Boulder for one year, but in the interest of this story, he was in the Rocky Mountain State about a decade too early. The world had him return to Tennessee, and then encouraged him to teach English in Japan while things were readied for him out here. And after an epic tour of the world, Ryan packed up his Ford Fusion and drove back to west. The first song on his radio made him cry, but he was moving. No job. No place to live. But something told him to return to Colorado.
Friends and family offered little entertainment as Ryan settled into life in Lakewood. He went on a few dates with girls who looked nothing like their profile pictures. He convinced his sister to come to law school at DU. He started working on his mother and brother to join him out here.
Then he received an email from a girl who asked him to simply join her trivia team. They exchanged a couple emails, and shortly after she returned from a family reunion, they met at The Park Tavern to compete in Geeks Who Drink. Ryan arrived before she did, and thought he could use the restroom before this girl–who probably looked nothing like her profile picture–walked into meet him. He was wrong. As he exited the bathroom, wiping his hands on his pants, there she was… He smiled, trying to cover for having just left the bathroom, and introduced himself.
She smiled back.
No one else on her team showed up, so they relied only on her pop culture knowledge. Needless to say, they lost. But that didn’t matter. They finished the game, and went to another bar and stayed out until one in the morning.
And thus began their life together… Ryan and the girl, ril.